Fear

I am scared of everything right now.

I'm scared of the darkness that is living in Northern Europe in winter. I'm scared of saying good bye to my friends. I'm scared of making new friends and thus having MORE people to say goodbye to. I'm scared of finishing that paper for Nordic mythology (well, not really. I'm super into this research actually). I'm scared of making a decision about where I want to travel next. I'm scared of getting on the plane that's going to get me there. (this might be where I mention that in all of the traveling I have done in the past few years, I've never been scared of traveling by myself or of the place I'm going. It's the DAMN PLANE that always freaks me out. alwaysalwaysalwaysalways) I could go to Oslo, but taking a ship across the sea is scary. i could go to Helsinki, but it's going to be darker than cph and i'm afraid of flying in Northern Europe in Winter. I could take the train to Stockholm, but Sweden will be boring. I could fly to Southern Europe where it's sunny, but that's a longer plane ride right before I take the epic air ship that will take me home to my beloved Pacific. I need to stop letting fear get in the way of things, but I made it this far, right? It's ok that I've gotten this far... I mean, I got on that plane to Tel Aviv, I got on that plane to Paris, and to Russia, and to everywhere else I've been. Why am I freaking out now especially?!

I'm scared of going home. I'm scared of all the changes that will be there when I'm home. I'm scared of what if I never come back to Europe? I'm scared of being by myself my last week here. I'm scared of finding a job when I graduate. I'm scared of what on earth is going to happen to me in my life? I'm scared of what if there's a terrorist attack while I'm in Copenhagen during Cop15? (I hate you U.S. government for sending me that "precautionary" email that while hilarious holds a grain of neurotic truth...)

so...... any advice?