New attitude?

I don't fit in. I never have. I've always been the odd one out in big groups. In Santa Cruz, I am able to pretend that I am normal, because everyone else is weird and awkward and I have multiple groups where I have a defined niche. But here? It's feelings and emotions I never wanted to feel again. A reminder that just because I'm in a different country doesn't mean I haven't changed.
Today I realized I need to change tactics. I am a traveler, and I will do things by myself and stop trying to depend on people because whenever I put myself out there or attempt to make plans, people continuously disappoint me. So this afternoon, I took myself to Christiana, which is a hippi commune that was created in the 1970's when some people began squatting in abandoned military barracks. It is technically its own governing body, and does not belong to the E.U. While walking around, this girl in dreads on a bike asks me if I would like to join her in a meal. I ended up having a lovely afternoon with her and now have a place to stay the next time I decide I need to go to Helsinki. Since I am clearly not making friends with the international students, I need to keep meeting people in random places. I need to continously put myself out there, do my own thing, and stop trying too hard to be friends with people I'm not connecting with.
But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when I sit with a group of people that I kind of know and hear about the amazing time they had together.