Goodbyes

I leave Europe one month from Saturday. In typical Lizzy fashion, I am freaking out. When I first got here in August, I wanted to go home. I missed Santa Cruz, I missed my friends, and I wasn't happy. But now? I don't want to leave. I've built a life for myself. I've made good friends. I've become part of the Kehillah. I've loved my traveling. My classes have been interesting. See, I just really hate saying good bye. I hate saying good bye to a place that I have lived, to cafes and bars I spend time at, to communities that I'm part of. I hate that I thought it was a good idea to leave Denmark so late in December, not realizing all the friends I made would go home earlier than I so they would be with their families for Christmas, and then returning just after I'm gone. I hate that I'm going to be by myself my last week here, because I can't afford to travel anywhere else and I'm afraid of missing my flight home.

Leaving Santa Cruz in June was difficult, but I knew I was coming back. My friends here keep asking me to stay in Europe, but I can't. And I may not see them again. Ever. That's the scary thing. Friends you meet while traveling are one thing, because you rarely put much effort to stay in contact with them beyond facebook, unless they're particularly special. But even if I did stay, my life next semester wouldn't be the same, because some of my friends are leaving, and then new people would come for me to get attached to, and the goodbye process would begin again.

I'm not ready to say good bye.